Jerry's vacation

Daniel has an imaginary friend - Jerry - a character from the Veggie Tales Christian TV series for kids. Jerry moved in about 4-5 months ago. Now, for the record, imaginary friends are a perfectly normal part of maturation and play in kids. However, Jerry may have overstayed his welcome.

At first, Jerry would only come over to play now and again, and his activities usually related to making Daniel laugh through silly and harmless antics. Jerry now has a tendency to be a little provocative, often toeing the line on house rules. Daniel has always been good about scolding Jerry when he doesn't follow the rules, but it seems recently that Jerry's antics have started to wear on some members of the family, specifically Mom and Dad.

For example:

"Daniel, why is your chair stacked on top of your table?"
"Uhh, Jerry wanted to sit up there."


"Daniel, why is Matthew crying?"
"Uhh, Jerry didn't want Matthew to slobber on his stuffed animal."


"Daniel, why are you screaming?!"
"Uhh, Jerry and I were chasing each other through the house."


"Daniel, why aren't you in bed?"
"Uhh, Jerry was making me look at this book with him."


“Daniel, why are you crying and yelling?”
“Uhh, Jerry’s poking me again!”

"Daniel, why are you dipping wipes in the un-flushed toilet and mopping the bathroom floor with them?"
"Uhh, I didn't! Jerry did!"

Needless to say, Jerry's been toeing the line for a while now. And, seeing as Jerry is contributing to what appears to be a new trend in fibbing, we decided to see if we could “take a break from Jerry.”

Jerry joined us for dinner tonight…again. It should go without saying that he wasn’t a positive influence on Daniel finishing his dinner. That’s when I finally decided we had to take action – and then it hit me.

Chris: “Say, Jerry, what have you been up to lately?”

I pause and nod my head as if listening to Jerry respond. Daniel’s ears perk up.

Chris: “Really?! That’s so exciting! I had no idea!”

Daniel really perks up and starts to open his mouth and smile in excitement. I can only imagine what was going on in his head: ‘What, Dad, What??!! What’s Jerry doing this time??!!’

I continued…

Chris: “Well that’s just fantastic Jerry. I really hope you enjoy your vacation. When do you leave?”

Daniel’s face begins to turn to one of shock.

Chris: “Tonight? That soon? Wow. I guess Italy can’t wait! How long will you be gone?”

Daniel’s face is now in complete disbelief. He realizes the game is afoot.

Chris: “You’ll be gone 2 months?! Wow! Well, have a great time! See ya!”

Daniel, having been speechless for the last minute now begins to protest.

Daniel: “No, Dad! Jerry is NOT going on vacation!!!!”

Chris: “But Daniel he just told me he was.”

Daniel: “No! No thank you!”

Daniel now starts to appear genuinely agitated and upset. At this point, I realize my ingenious plan isn’t going to work without crushing the poor kid. So, I abandoned the endeavor, acknowledging to Daniel that Jerry wasn’t going to go on vacation...yet.

You’ve won this round, Jerry, so you can wipe that smirk off your face.

Jerry the Squash from Veggie Tales